x
Toggle Content Register or Login  -  June 10, 2026, 11:35 pm
Toggle Content User Info

Welcome Anonymous

Nickname
Password

Membership:
Latest: LucilleDZ
New Today: 0
New Yesterday: 0
Overall: 2016

People Online:
Members: 0
Visitors: 263
Total: 263
Who Is Where:
 Visitors:
01: Home
02: Community Forums
03: Statistics
04: Home
05: Home
06: Home
07: Home
08: Community Forums
09: Home
10: Community Forums
11: Community Forums
12: My Account
13: My Account
14: Home
15: Home
16: Home
17: Community Forums
18: Community Forums
19: Home
20: Community Forums
21: Home
22: My Account
23: Community Forums
24: Statistics
25: Stories Archive
26: Home
27: Home
28: Statistics
29: Community Forums
30: Home
31: Community Forums
32: Home
33: Community Forums
34: Community Forums
35: Community Forums
36: Home
37: Community Forums
38: Home
39: Community Forums
40: Community Forums
41: Home
42: Community Forums
43: Community Forums
44: Community Forums
45: Community Forums
46: Home
47: Community Forums
48: Statistics
49: Home
50: Photo Gallery
51: Home
52: Community Forums
53: Home
54: Community Forums
55: Community Forums
56: Home
57: Home
58: Home
59: Home
60: Photo Gallery
61: Community Forums
62: Home
63: Community Forums
64: Home
65: Home
66: Home
67: Community Forums
68: Home
69: Home
70: Community Forums
71: Community Forums
72: Community Forums
73: Community Forums
74: Community Forums
75: Community Forums
76: Statistics
77: Community Forums
78: Statistics
79: Community Forums
80: Community Forums
81: Home
82: Statistics
83: Community Forums
84: Community Forums
85: My Account
86: Community Forums
87: Community Forums
88: Community Forums
89: Home
90: Community Forums
91: Community Forums
92: Statistics
93: Home
94: Home
95: Community Forums
96: Community Forums
97: Home
98: Community Forums
99: Community Forums
100: Community Forums
101: Community Forums
102: Community Forums
103: Community Forums
104: Community Forums
105: Community Forums
106: Home
107: Statistics
108: Community Forums
109: Community Forums
110: Community Forums
111: Community Forums
112: Community Forums
113: Community Forums
114: My Account
115: Home
116: Community Forums
117: Community Forums
118: Community Forums
119: Community Forums
120: Statistics
121: Community Forums
122: Community Forums
123: Home
124: Community Forums
125: Community Forums
126: Community Forums
127: Community Forums
128: My Account
129: Home
130: Home
131: Community Forums
132: Community Forums
133: My Account
134: Home
135: Community Forums
136: Community Forums
137: Community Forums
138: Community Forums
139: Home
140: Home
141: Home
142: Community Forums
143: Community Forums
144: Community Forums
145: Home
146: Community Forums
147: Home
148: Home
149: Community Forums
150: Community Forums
151: Community Forums
152: Community Forums
153: News
154: Home
155: Statistics
156: Home
157: Community Forums
158: Home
159: Home
160: Home
161: Community Forums
162: Home
163: Photo Gallery
164: Community Forums
165: Statistics
166: Home
167: Home
168: Community Forums
169: Statistics
170: Community Forums
171: Home
172: Statistics
173: Home
174: Community Forums
175: Community Forums
176: Home
177: Home
178: Community Forums
179: Community Forums
180: Home
181: Home
182: Home
183: Community Forums
184: Community Forums
185: Community Forums
186: My Account
187: Community Forums
188: Community Forums
189: Community Forums
190: Community Forums
191: Community Forums
192: Home
193: Home
194: Stories Archive
195: Community Forums
196: Community Forums
197: Community Forums
198: Community Forums
199: Home
200: Community Forums
201: Community Forums
202: Home
203: Home
204: Community Forums
205: Community Forums
206: Home
207: Community Forums
208: Home
209: My Account
210: Home
211: Community Forums
212: Community Forums
213: Home
214: Community Forums
215: Community Forums
216: Community Forums
217: My Account
218: Community Forums
219: Home
220: Community Forums
221: Community Forums
222: Community Forums
223: Community Forums
224: Home
225: Community Forums
226: Community Forums
227: Community Forums
228: Statistics
229: Home
230: Home
231: Community Forums
232: Community Forums
233: Community Forums
234: Home
235: Statistics
236: Home
237: Photo Gallery
238: Community Forums
239: My Account
240: Community Forums
241: Photo Gallery
242: Home
243: Home
244: Home
245: Community Forums
246: Community Forums
247: Home
248: Home
249: Community Forums
250: Home
251: Community Forums
252: Home
253: Community Forums
254: Home
255: Community Forums
256: Community Forums
257: My Account
258: Community Forums
259: Community Forums
260: Community Forums
261: Community Forums
262: Community Forums
263: My Account

Staff Online:

No staff members are online!
Toggle Content Main Menu
Toggle Content Last Posts
Last 10 Forum Messages

translation help needed please
Last post by yesindd in Translations on Jul 15, 2024 at 20:59:53

bocca
Last post by tennino in General Discussion Groups on Jan 16, 2021 at 16:56:41

Towns in Frosinone that were part of former Vatican States a
Last post by Italysearcher in Central Italy on Feb 19, 2019 at 09:15:58

Dual Citizenship
Last post by Curci-Ghio in General Discussion Groups on Nov 18, 2018 at 15:30:54

Please Help Translate Letter
Last post by nuccia in Translations on Oct 20, 2018 at 06:18:43

Family in Cittanova
Last post by russojoseph1 in Translations on Oct 14, 2018 at 12:28:20

DNA Testing
Last post by nuccia in General Discussion Groups on Sep 29, 2018 at 10:39:30

Trento -Atto di Nascita - Frazione di Poia, Comune di Comano
Last post by exevans in Northern Italy on Mar 28, 2018 at 00:45:37

Translating written postcard
Last post by mekanic in Translations on Jan 18, 2018 at 13:58:50

Translating written postcard
Last post by mekanic in Translations on Jan 18, 2018 at 13:53:38

Toggle Content Help Support this Site
Please support GentediMareGenealogy
Help us by supporting the future development of this site, or simply to say thank you.
Toggle Content EStore
Community Forums › Just For Fun › Jokes & Riddles-Clean Jokes Only › God & Satan!

     Forum FAQ   Search   Log in to check your private messages   Login  
God & Satan!
Jokes are posted in fun and as the Heading suggests, only clean content allowed. So go on and have a laugh...

Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum Index Jokes & Riddles-Clean Jokes Only Printer Friendly Page

View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Carole
Admin
Admin


Joined: Jul 10, 2007
Posts: 1662
Location: Valtellina - Near Lake Como

PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 1:58 am    Post subject: God & Satan! Reply with quote

God & Satan
In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Ice Cream and Magnums. And Satan said, 'You want hot fudge with that? And Man said, 'Yes!' And Woman said, 'I'll have one too with chocolate chips'. And lo they gained 10 pounds.

And God created the healthy yoghurt that woman might keep the figure that man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 12 to size 14.

So God said, 'Try my fresh green salad'. And Satan presented Blue Cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said 'I have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them'.

And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut king prawns, butter-dipped lobster chunks and chicken fried steak, so big it needed its own platter, and Man's cholesterol went through the roof.

Then God brought forth the potato; naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition.

Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep-fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt. And Man put on more pounds. God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose those extra pounds.

And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretch jogging suits.

Then God gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.

And Satan created McDonalds and the 99p double cheeseburger. Then Satan said 'You want fries with that?' and Man replied, 'Yes, and super size 'em'. And Satan said, 'It is good.' And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed ......... and created quadruple by-pass surgery.

And then ............ Satan chuckled and created the National Health Service.

THE FINAL WORD ON NUTRITION

After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here's the final word on nutrition and health.:

1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
4.. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
6. The French eat foie-gras, full fat cheese and drink red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

_________________

Researching: EDMED, SAVILL, TYSON, NEWCOMBE, STAPLETON, GUNTER, STAPLES
If you think education is expensive -try ignorance!

>Expats in Italy<
Come and join 'Dork and Friends'! >New Blog<
Back to top
View user's profile
BillieDeKid
V.I.P.
V.I.P.


Joined: Oct 26, 2007
Posts: 1221
Location: Illinois

PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 7:15 am    Post subject: Re: God & Satan! Reply with quote


_________________
Elizabeth
Brognaturo On Line
Brognaturo Civil Records
Mangiardi, Tedeschi/Tedesco, Zangari, Coda, DeFrancesco, Ierulli, Bava, Daniele, Valente
Back to top
View user's profile
Emmy
V.I.P.
V.I.P.


Joined: Jul 11, 2007
Posts: 1000
Location: Scotland

PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 9:10 am    Post subject: Re: God & Satan! Reply with quote

Good one Carole kiss
Now I can go and have strawberries and ice cream and not worry!!
but first before I do I'll go and get my dictoionary and translate the last sentence into another language
giornale giornale Wink
Emmy

_________________
Lady Emmy
Back to top
View user's profile
Carole
Admin
Admin


Joined: Jul 10, 2007
Posts: 1662
Location: Valtellina - Near Lake Como

PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 11:41 am    Post subject: Re: God & Satan! Reply with quote

Great idea Emmy - do that and we can have a banana party!

peep

(Without banans - of course!)

_________________

Researching: EDMED, SAVILL, TYSON, NEWCOMBE, STAPLETON, GUNTER, STAPLES
If you think education is expensive -try ignorance!

>Expats in Italy<
Come and join 'Dork and Friends'! >New Blog<
Back to top
View user's profile
  Page 1 of 1All times are GMT - 4 Hours

Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum Index Jokes & Riddles-Clean Jokes Only Printer Friendly Page

  
 
Jump to:  



You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum



Hosted By Site5.com
The logos and trademarks used on this site are the property of Gente di Mare Genealogy.
We are not responsible for comments posted by our users, as they are the opinions of the poster.
Interactive software released under GNU GPL, Code Credits, Privacy Policy
TCD_ItalianGene © Gente di Mare Genealogy