An Italian grandmother was giving directions to her grown grandson who, with his wife, was coming to visit.:
"You comma to de front door of the apartamenta. I am inna apartamenta 301. There issa bigga panel at the front door. With you elbow, pusha button 301. I will buzza you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with you elbow, pusha 3. When you get out, I'mma on the left. With you elbow, hit my doorbell."
"Grandma, that sounds easy, but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?”
"What .. . You coming empty handed?"